Family – Page 41 – The Merfett

Day 4 – Running on Baby Time

October 4, 2013October 1, 2013 The Merfett

Who’s got two thumbs, a baby and is Type-A?

This girl.

You too?

Hi.

I wouldn’t say my case of Type-A-ness is super serious but I like having a plan. I LOVE making lists. Seriously, is there a better feeling in the world than making a big fat check next to an item on your to-do list? Confession: sometimes I write something on my list that I’ve already done just so I can check it off. Yep, nerd alert.

I feel better and more calm if I have an organized work surface. A clean kitchen counter and a freshly vacuumed carpet are my love language. Seeing those little mower lines on the rug makes my hear go pitter-patter. I can’t think about enjoying my evening on the couch until I have the dinner dishes done. Please tell me I’m not alone?

These things are still important to me, but I’m not running on Merfett time anymore. I’m on baby time. Merfbaby time.

I still desire to keep our home looking less like a war-zone and more like it can be safely inhabited by humans, but it happens at a slower pace than it used to.

Baby time is all the time. All the time is baby time.

Naps become sacred. Evening’s when Merfman is home for dinner are celebrated, and for many reasons. I’ve learned to become even more efficient with my time. Didn’t think it was possible, but it is!

I’m sure many new Mama’s will say that a clean floor is low on the list of priorities when you’re holding a grinning baby. They speak truth.

I’ll never get THIS day with my baby again. It’ll be over all too soon.

In a few short months he’ll want less of me and more of the world. So, why should I be consumed with the world now? The floor will keep, the dishes aren’t going anywhere, the laundry will get done…if not we can always pull my favorite move from college and wear bathing suit bottoms, right?

Set your clocks for baby time, it’ll be short but sweet.

Family

Day 3 – Mama Confidence

October 3, 2013October 1, 2013 The Merfett

Raising a tiny human is intimidating, no?

It starts when you see those little pink lines on the stick…ohmygoodness, we MADE a human. Now what?!

So, you start reading, and you keep reading. And you read some more. And you talk to people. And you hear stories. Good. Bad. Wonderful. Scary. Joyful. Ugly. And you pray. You pray every second you can for this little person you’ve never met.

Then the day comes when this perfect little baby burrito is placed into your arms and you want to do everything right, you want to be so great at this mama thing. But it’s hard. And it’s a lot of on-the-job training. You make mistakes. There’s tears. But, then there’s moments of total triumph. Every time you calm your baby, or get them to sleep it’s a little victory. And you fist-bump your spouse and silently cheer, because you’re doing it, and it’s working.

But just when you feel like you’re hitting your stride, and you can do this, like really own this mama role — your confidence takes a hit. Your eyes are opened to the world of babies and parents around you. Why is their baby doing “X” and my baby is doing “Y?” Am I doing something wrong? Why can’t I be that mom?

Stop. Take a deeeep breath.

What works for your baby, and family might not work for mine. And that’s cool. Rock it.

We need to hold on to our self-confidence when it comes to raising our little people. We’re all doing a very hard job, and we might all do it differently, but we’re doing it!

Celebrate the little victories. You’re doing a GREAT job. And so am I.

Family

Day 2 – Stripes. Earned.

October 2, 2013October 1, 2013 The Merfett

Having a baby is a big deal, yea? Emotionally, financially and physically.

Let’s start with the physical today.

Once upon a time in a land called Orange County…I was a NCAA water polo player.

Screen Shot 2013-09-26 at 12.30.47 PM — The game where my jaw got dislocated.

Screen Shot 2013-09-26 at 12.33.17 PM — Possibly the best shape I’ve ever been in. Also, hi Hannah!

Playing sports in college allowed for a unique meal plan. Basically you burned a billion calories, rarely had time to cook meals, and ended up eating a bagel and bowl of Cheerios for dinner when you got home at 10pm <–been there, ate that. Mmmm, carbs.

I’ve never been a small girl. I’m 5’12” and proud of it. From years of swimming I have manshoulders. I’m cool with it. I don’t worry about my weight, heck, I don’t even own a scale. I’ve always held a healthy body image of myself. Sure, there’s been times I’ve wished this or that was different, but I’m me and I like my body.

Pregnancy and body image is a strange thing. Your body is no longer just yours. It’s this very important vessel, and it’s GROWING a human. As you grow, your baby grows. Things, um, get larger. But, it’s good, right?! Your body is supporting this other life, signs of growth are to be celebrated!

My pregnancy mirrored the very public pregnancies of Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (formal title, yo!) and Kim Kardashian. It was sort of exciting to follow their pregnancy as I was going through my own. What saddened me was the constant scrutiny and commentary on their weight gain and image during pregnancy. Kim was often compared to Kate, criticized for her weight, clothing choices…eating habits. I got the “weight talk” from my OB, I know steady weight gain is ideal and healthy eating is encouraged. Gotta keep that growing bun in the oven well-fed with balanced meals!

But pregnancy isn’t this one-size-fits-all deal. We’re all unique, each of our bodies look and react differently to the massive change that is growing a human. I don’t think it’s a time we should be bodyhating, but hey, it still happens. You hear a story about your neighbor’s sister’s coworker that gained 20lbs, never got a single stretch-mark and dropped all her baby-weight and more by just breastfeeding. More power to her, but that’s not the common case.

So, here I am in this 2 month post-baby body, and it’s strange. I know it’s me in the mirror, but I look so different from the girl I was a year ago. 10 months preggo + 2 months post = whoa, a year since I had my body all to myself. You know what? I’m okay with it, most days. It takes some positive self-talk, but I’m 90% good with how I look.

There’s a mama tummy, and some serious stretch marks. Um, can we please talk about the stretch marks that come AFTER you give birth?! No one warns you about those! You think you’re in the clear when, BAM! You turn around one morning in the bathroom and there they are, in all their red glory, ha!

It’s been said many times, but stretch marks are like a badge of honor. The outward symbol of what your body accomplished. GROWING a human. I know they will fade to a less obvious color, and things will firm up, or maybe they won’t?

I do know that I’m trying to give myself a lot of grace, and plenty of time. I feel like I’m growing into my new role as a mama, while my body is taking on a new role as well.