It starts when you see those little pink lines on the stick…ohmygoodness, we MADE a human. Now what?!
It’s light, but it’s there!
So, you start reading, and you keep reading. And you read some more. And you talk to people. And you hear stories. Good. Bad. Wonderful. Scary. Joyful. Ugly. And you pray. You pray every second you can for this little person you’ve never met.
Then the day comes when this perfect little baby burrito is placed into your arms and you want to do everything right, you want to be so great at this mama thing. But it’s hard. And it’s a lot of on-the-job training. You make mistakes. There’s tears. But, then there’s moments of total triumph. Every time you calm your baby, or get them to sleep it’s a little victory. And you fist-bump your spouse and silently cheer, because you’re doing it, and it’s working.
But just when you feel like you’re hitting your stride, and you can do this, like really own this mama role — your confidence takes a hit. Your eyes are opened to the world of babies and parents around you. Why is their baby doing “X” and my baby is doing “Y?” Am I doing something wrong? Why can’t I be that mom?
Stop. Take a deeeep breath.
What works for your baby, and family might not work for mine. And that’s cool. Rock it.
We need to hold on to our self-confidence when it comes to raising our little people. We’re all doing a very hard job, and we might all do it differently, but we’re doing it!
Celebrate the little victories. You’re doing a GREAT job. And so am I.
Having a baby is a big deal, yea? Emotionally, financially and physically.
Let’s start with the physical today.
Once upon a time in a land called Orange County…I was a NCAA water polo player.
The game where my jaw got dislocated.Possibly the best shape I’ve ever been in. Also, hi Hannah!
Playing sports in college allowed for a unique meal plan. Basically you burned a billion calories, rarely had time to cook meals, and ended up eating a bagel and bowl of Cheerios for dinner when you got home at 10pm <–been there, ate that. Mmmm, carbs.
I’ve never been a small girl. I’m 5’12” and proud of it. From years of swimming I have manshoulders. I’m cool with it. I don’t worry about my weight, heck, I don’t even own a scale. I’ve always held a healthy body image of myself. Sure, there’s been times I’ve wished this or that was different, but I’m me and I like my body.
Pregnancy and body image is a strange thing. Your body is no longer just yours. It’s this very important vessel, and it’s GROWING a human. As you grow, your baby grows. Things, um, get larger. But, it’s good, right?! Your body is supporting this other life, signs of growth are to be celebrated!
My pregnancy mirrored the very public pregnancies of Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (formal title, yo!) and Kim Kardashian. It was sort of exciting to follow their pregnancy as I was going through my own. What saddened me was the constant scrutiny and commentary on their weight gain and image during pregnancy. Kim was often compared to Kate, criticized for her weight, clothing choices…eating habits. I got the “weight talk” from my OB, I know steady weight gain is ideal and healthy eating is encouraged. Gotta keep that growing bun in the oven well-fed with balanced meals!
But pregnancy isn’t this one-size-fits-all deal. We’re all unique, each of our bodies look and react differently to the massive change that is growing a human. I don’t think it’s a time we should be bodyhating, but hey, it still happens. You hear a story about your neighbor’s sister’s coworker that gained 20lbs, never got a single stretch-mark and dropped all her baby-weight and more by just breastfeeding. More power to her, but that’s not the common case.
So, here I am in this 2 month post-baby body, and it’s strange. I know it’s me in the mirror, but I look so different from the girl I was a year ago. 10 months preggo + 2 months post = whoa, a year since I had my body all to myself. You know what? I’m okay with it, most days. It takes some positive self-talk, but I’m 90% good with how I look.
There’s a mama tummy, and some serious stretch marks. Um, can we please talk about the stretch marks that come AFTER you give birth?! No one warns you about those! You think you’re in the clear when, BAM! You turn around one morning in the bathroom and there they are, in all their red glory, ha!
It’s been said many times, but stretch marks are like a badge of honor. The outward symbol of what your body accomplished. GROWING a human. I know they will fade to a less obvious color, and things will firm up, or maybe they won’t?
I do know that I’m trying to give myself a lot of grace, and plenty of time. I feel like I’m growing into my new role as a mama, while my body is taking on a new role as well.
Day 1 of 31…whoa. I’ve never written for 31 days in a row. If you want to get up to speed on the challenge I’m doing, check this out.
So, I picked the “Parenting” theme…specifically my writing topic for the next 31 days is Growing My Mama Heart.
Nifty, now what’s a Mama Heart?
Since becoming a Mama on July 31, 2013 I use the term “mama heart” to cover my feelings, thoughts and challenges of becoming a new Mama. Cool? Cool.
Let’s set the scene:
Here’s the main player, my son, the one who made me a Mama.
Riley. Also known to many as Merfbaby.
My sidekick, best friend and the love of my life.
Merfman
The backstory:
In my younger years I never thought I would become a parent. Ask my Mom, she was seriously concerned I was going to leave her high and dry without any Grandbabies. Becoming a Grandma was serious stuff to her.
It wasn’t until I met and married Merfman that I understood the great desire to become a Mama. I didn’t want a baby to fulfill something in me, I wanted to raise a child with him, as a team. I still clearly remember discussing the topic of children in our premarital class. One of God’s purposes for marriage is to raise up children and share the gospel with them, so they can share with others. They are the future of the body of Christ.
Merfman and I discussed our desires to have children, but we knew that it’s not always God’s plan for all couples to get pregnant. We were prepared for whatever might happen, and talked about the option of adoption if that’s where our path led.
The main event:
In November we learned we were pregnant, due in July. We shared the news with our families over Christmas and they were overjoyed. I was blessed with a very healthy and “easy” pregnancy. We took Bradley Classes to prepare for childbirth and were even more blessed with a natural non-medicated birth.
The status report:
I’ve been at this mama things for over 2 months, and I’ve learned a lot and I still have a lot to learn. I don’t think I’ll ever really be done learning though, right? That’s the fun part about life. You’re always learning and growing. With each new stage Riley enters I’ll be figuring it out right along with him.
That’s the story of where I’m at, and I’m excited to see where I’m going.
The Merfett 